Mingo

I am a big fan of wet look leggings

All articles by Mingo

 

A Love Story About Otters

This is a story set in the countryside of Fife,About two little otters, both man and wife. Harry was the male who had been paired, Despite the fact he was speech impaired. He spoke with a lisp, he couldn’t say R’s, But this didn’t stop him, he reached for the stars. His wife’s name was
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Taxi Etiquette

The driver who picked me up had the heating on full blast and also stunk very badly of BO to the point that I wanted to stop breathing. I wound the window down for some fresh air and he immediately pressed the button to close it. What’s that about? I keep opening it and he
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Health and Safety Risk Assesment

I was asked to fill out a very long form for Health and Safety and fire reasons. It goes into great detail about how a person in my office with impairements (?!) would be treated if there was a fire or need for evacuation. The thing is about 50 pages long as I am the
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Things I can See in Ljubljana Airport

I am currently sat in an airport in Slovenia and I am bored therefore here are some of the things I can currently see from my seat just outside the ladies lavatory. A man with a wooly hat which is literally sitting on top of his head. It’s delicately balanced by the look of it,
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Mingo Attempts Dry January

why oh why did I agree to dry January? I didn’t realise it would be this difficult. I drink far too much and therefore thought cutting back would be wise but it is quite the opposite. People said I would feel better, have more energy, sleep better and be more motivated for things like the
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Sausage Dinner


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Working in a Shared Office – Day 2

<< Day 1 I feel bad but I think Irene has been fired, not too bad though as her replacement is about twenty five and a huge fan of short skirts and tight tops. A lot of makeup though; If you were to pull that, it would cost you a fortune in Vanish Stain Remover
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Working in a Shared Office – Day 1

Today was the first day in my new office. It was a shared office and supposedly there was me and 5 other people but when I arrived this morning, its was only me. It started badly.
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2015 / 2016 Film Spoilers

Everest Some lads go up a big hill. It’s pretty cold and some of the lads die.  Straight Outta Compton Loads of black lads with cool hair swear a lot to music. One gets ripped off and one gets aids. Amy Bird discovers jazz but then discovers drugs and drugs are better.
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Ways to Kill Peppa Pig

The little Sheffields are obsessed with this bloody cartoon pig, I can only dream of ways of ending her! BBQ, I can almost smell that flame grilled pork (although make sure she takes those golden boots off, that burning rubber will ruin the taste) Get Daddy Pig to sit on her; the fat piggy bastard
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Drugs.


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Ezra Pound

Here lies the body of Ezra Pound, Lost at sea and never found.
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Which Political Party Shall I Vote For?

Its coming up to the general election in the UK (May) and as a grown man with all his faculties (kind of), I get a vote but I’m pondering who to vote for so i thought I would summarise with my own analysis of the political parties in the mix. Which political party should I
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The Sad Truth About My Life

I swear they took my quote out of context, I only did it the once. Journalist bastards !
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Seasons Greetings

This is my Christmas Card this year. Seasons Greetings but Dave is a prick. I did want a Christmas card which I could send to everyone to show my complete indifference at life but there wasn’t anything plain enough; they are all too jolly or full of hope, love and faith in fellow man. As
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New job for Mingo – Ideas Needed

Postman I’ll admit, I used to think I was good at early mornings but the more I age, the more I drink and the more I drink, the more depressing the mornings are for me. As well as the early mornings, there are dogs to contend with. I’m not an animal person but I particularly
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Mingo’s Escape

After my successful escape, I’ve decided I’m going to hitchhike to the airport as its safer for me to be out of the country. Although Frances drives like she cannot see 4 metres in front of her, she eerily see’s it all. So far, no-one has stopped apart from one guy who had a load
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Independent Bookshop Review

Please check out our independent bookshop review for Manchester below. Sale Antiquarian Book Shop This dusty old shop down a sodden back alley in Sale has a lot of character and also some rising damp. There are a wide variety of old, unusual and rare books, many of them curiously sticky and most of them
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The Neighbours

Everybody needs good neighbours My new house (Mingo Towers) has a rather strange set of neighbours. I noticed something amiss when I moved in and noticed there was an ashtray screwed to the wall; the kind you see outside pubs. I thought nothing more of it until a few days later and I met them
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No Time to Explain

No time to explain…
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The Trouble With RyanAir

I recently had to go to Ireland recently and as I was in a rush, I made the mistake of not specifying the airline to book with. Unfortunately for Mingo, the travel company booked me onto 2 Ryan Air flights and it was possibly the worst travel experience of my life. Now I’m no snob
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Online Dating Pitfalls

I recently woke up in some bushes in Swindon and on the newpaper I’d used as a blanket, I read the following paper about Benefits scrounger White Dee looking for love online. This got me thinking about all those poor hapless bastards who might end up on a date with someone like White Dee who;
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How to pronounce Châteauneuf-du-Pape

This is essential for tonight when you’re taking your betrophed out and want to look classy. Châteauneuf-du-Pape.
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Interflora you robbing bastards

I don’t even like flowers! Interflora you robbing bastards! £60 for a bunch of flowers in a vase and a box of chocolates? I feel like I’ve been robbed. Have you increased your prices as you know useless blokes (like me) will have forgotten to buy anything and are using you as a last ditch
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All Systems Go

It been a long time coming. This site has been on my to do list since I was 19 and I am now nearly 80. I decided to collate my thoughts into one central location so that any obituary writers can find information on the Great Mingo Sheffield in one place and not have to
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