Interflora you robbing bastards

I don’t even like flowers!

Interflora you robbing bastards! £60 for a bunch of flowers in a vase and a box of chocolates? I feel like I’ve been robbed. Have you increased your prices as you know useless blokes (like me) will have forgotten to buy anything and are using you as a last ditch attempt to get something semi decent for Valentines day?

Seriously – its a bunch of flowers, they’ll be dead Tuesday week. Its a big price to pay for a smile on Mrs. Mingo’s face. At least it won’t be as bad as last year when I stood in the queue outside on the Esso forecout waiting for the 35 people in front of me to frantically find something in the all night service station that had some kind of sentiment attached to it. Yes, I can honestly say there was no love lost the next morning when I handed over a copy of HEAT magazine, some anti-freeze, a magic tree and two tubes of Pringles (one with some slight box damage). I’d have been better of using the previous years tactic of squaring up to the postman on the path screaming blue murder that her parcel hadn’t arrived (even though it hadn’t been ordered). I did try winking to the postman to get him to play along but this had the result of making me look even more psychotic. This is why I have to pick up all my mail from the central sorting office now, they refuse to deliver.