This is my Christmas Card this year.
Seasons Greetings but Dave is a prick.
I did want a Christmas card which I could send to everyone to show my complete indifference at life but there wasn’t anything plain enough; they are all too jolly or full of hope, love and faith in fellow man. As I live in a cupboard and am only let out for toilet, I do not feel these things.
This was the most miserable Christmas card I could find.