Home Schooling – Day 1

Home schooling the little Mingos started well, after a hearty breakfast of Coco Pops and Rice Krispies, the little darlings decided to have a PE lesson. Unfortunately this started unsupervised and bouncing on the trampoline whilst the eldest threw footballs at them resulted in 2 of them crying and one sprained wrist. I’ve since decided to remove ‘super bounce deathball’ off the curriculum for the time being.

It was then time to bring them inside for some schoolwork. This mainly involved colouring for the little ones and some maths for the eldest which to be honest was impossibly hard and only able to be completed by Nasa scientists or Quantum physicists. After some tantrums, tears and several hundred requests to go to the park, the TVs were switched back on and Cbbebies provided the rest of the mornings entertainment.

Other parents were on social media advising us that Joe Wicks was doing some live exercise thing on YouTube. After two minutes of watching a grown man jumping up and down like a bunny rabbit, I had to switch off. Who on earth is Joe Wicks and how on earth can he think his awful voice and ridiculous exercising could entertain my children. Good lord.

We then had lunch, contemplating the fact that we had actually achieved nothing. After lunch I spent a long period talking the mother in law how to turn off Audi description on her TV as she said she would rather get Corona virus than watch another episode of ‘Homes Under the Hammer’ where someone explained exactly what was happening – ‘They walk into the bedroom, there is a bed’.

Once this was over, it was discovered the kids had taken the hoover to pieces, not sure what lesson I could put this under at primary school level but perhaps this could be classed as home schooling engineering 101. Anyway, its likely we’ll have unhoovered floors for the next twelve weeks.

Home Schooling day one, we’ve done nowt!

Mingo Sheffield