Teaching From Home – Day 5

Teaching from home has not gone well, I must say. 2 of the little Mingo’s have moved out into the treehouse, they’ve flown the nest at the age of 3 and 8. It looks pretty cold out there but it would seem a slow death of hypothermia is preferable to my home schooling techniques.

the new home is a treehouse.
The new home.

To be honest, teaching from home has broken down with yesterday consisting of 25 minutes of a World War 1 documentary for the eldest. The rest mainly shovelled sweets and crisps and allowed to go on the playstation for hours on end. This Corona virus is really going to ramp up the skills of computer games across the world, eSports is something to keep an eye on here.

Meanwhile I have been busy trying to get some work done but lets face it, this is never going to work when there’s little ones in the house. Yesterday I had a conference call with some senior executives of a National Lottery and I was disturbed by the shouts of “CAN YOU WIPE MY BOTTOM?” I had to pause the conference call, make everyone wait (staring at each other in silence as it was on video) whilst I went to wipe a bottom and wash my hands. The mood seemed to have changed when I returned; like I had lost that professional edge as they all knew minutes ago I had been wiping a small child’s arse.

On a positive note, my son (Mingo number 3) has an obsession with tombolas and this came in handy today as in the cupboard we found some jumbo crayons which they then proceeded to use to graffiti the house. They may be suffering at Maths, English and Science but their art is really coming on. Maybe we’ll discover the inner Banksy in them (in a multi millionaire kind of way rather than spraying ‘fuckcakes’ on motorway bridges).

I’ll try and coax the little angels in later and maybe give them a break from home schooling, maybe we’ll try and watch some semi-educational films, although I’m not sure they’re going to cut the mustard with the curriculum leaders (their mother):

Social StudiesRita, Sue and Bob Too
PE All the Rocky films
MathsGood Will Hunting
ScienceBlade Runner
English LiteratureDownton Abbey box set
ITWeird Science
REThe passion of Christ

There you go, that’s lessons sorted for a couple of days next week and I’m a massive fan of weird science. Iliterally every schoolboys fantasy (except I wouldn’t have let her be able to talk!)