Home Schooling Preperation

It is with great trepidation that I write this. From tomorrow, the wife and I will be home schooling our four children as well as trying to hold down full time jobs ourselves.

We have gone about this in separate ways really, her with blind panic and me with hilarity and nonsense. The whiteboard is out and she has scheduled schooling based around our work meetings etc but its not clear how we are going to school four kids aged from 12 to 3.

“13 minutes scheduled for Tarquins Falafel ciabatta before his latin test and a short clarinet rehearsal with his Sister then a 24 min game of rugger in the paddock.”

– Some prick on social media

Other people we know have been writing minute by minute plans including scheduling prayers (christ on a bike)and all that bullshit.

Anyway, the wife has done her home schooling whiteboard but I have a plan of my own, and that is not to get stressed out, not to pretend I’m a teacher and to just enjoy this time with the little Mingos.

Here is my plan:

Let’s face it, we take the kids to school in the morning as we can’t wait to get out of that playground, leaving someone else to look after our bloody offspring. It’s our assumed right to not have to put up with the little sods all day every day. But now it’s actually here and we are forced; not only to endure them all day, but also to try and ensure they don’t relapse into a feral or vegetative state then we all go a bit mad.

Home schooling in the world of Mingo Sheffield, is reading books, watching TV, making eggy bread, having a burping contest and trying to avoid your Mother who is likely to make you do some kind of maths booklet she downloaded off the Internet and is only completable by Quantum Physics Professors (at a good uni, not a polytechnic).